Most people who have delved into the study of Kabbalah, the Jewish mystical tradition, have heard or read the Talmudic story of the four who went into the Garden-a space or realm where they directly experienced God. I also am afraid I won’t be able to handle the experience of Divine connection. While I always have felt a bit like the “fringe dwellers” described by the late author Stuart Wilde, I would hate to feel all the more “different.” I would not like to discover that other people regarded me as so different they no longer wanted to associate with me. In addition, I might change in such a way that I no longer fit in with so-called “normal” people. I might neglect my children, my husband, my work, and, in the process, I might lose them all.
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I might not want to do anything but sit among the Redwoods surrounding my house and meditate. Speaking for myself, I’m afraid that if I achieve my spiritual goals I will be changed and that those changes will cause other changes within myself and within my life that I don’t desire or won’t like. Why? Because you feel afraid to care for your soul, nurture your spirit, connect with your inner being and with God.Įach person possesses a personal fear all their own that keeps them separate from God. Yet, you constantly find roadblocks and obstacles in your way-or, rather, you place them there. Like me, you say you want to care for your soul, to nurture your spirit, to connect with your inner being and with the Divine Essence that creates all things. I have always considered fear the primary factor that stops you from moving forward on the spiritual path. So, I recently asked myself, “Why don’t I put time and energy into the activities that are most important to me, the goals that will help me not only lead a more spiritual life but also help me feel my connection to God?” The answer I gave was simple: “Fear.” The Fear of Spiritual Connection I have to admit that I am quite productive most days, but I don’t do things related to my spiritual practice.
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I simply have not committed my time-and my energy-to my spiritual pursuits in the same manner I have committed time and energy to other goals. I have moved closer to many of my goals, but there are a few that involve, as author Thomas Moore would say, “care of the soul” that I have not taken steps toward creating.Īlthough I often complain about not having enough time to meditate, read spiritual books, journal, or pray, lack of time really is not what has stopped me from achieving my spiritual goals.
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Lately, I’ve found myself examining my life carefully-what I want it to look like and what I have to do to create that reality.